Décembre 2007,gera gera kissa cafe, Shinjuku, Tokyo Japon.
"Sleeping beauty"
I'm lacking of vitamin by now. Since I stop taking those pills of MngB6, I'm harvesting my crops in the tirement fields. That shouldn't take very long before I gain back my energy, but it's a fact : I'm not in shape. I wanna sleep for a long long time. I would like to lay down on the ground, charge my camera, close my eyes and get a good night sleep. When I think of it, it must have been 8 years since I didn't spend a normal night. I broke my sleep rythm when I started studying in Paris. I abandon every hope to rest when I came in prep' school. I didn't stop pasing contests, exams and worried night since that moment. For a long time, I thought that if I wasn't sleeping, I would become an adult quick... I thought the most intersting part of life was thoses moments during which most of the earth is sleeping.
There is no moment on earth during which I can be different : there's always a part of the world where what I'm doing is normal... that's somehow desperating.
Still, my dreams are mine. And I still can be original. I remember I read somewhere this answer of a wife to her husband, worried to fail his projects : "look honey, if a man's dream is to sleep a little bit longer on sunday morning, take twice of the apple pie dessert, and trust those he loves, then nobody, as powerful as he might be, can deprive him from fulfilling his dream". I already knew what I don't want, what I reject, what I hate. Since I'm living awake and sleeping badly, I think I'm starting to know a little bit more what I need, what I want.
Sometime it's when we create a loss, an emptyness, a lack of something, that all we wish appears in full light.
As I become aware of how tired I am, other lacks come to my mind.
Still, I don't want to rush : I don't want to know everything of my desires right now. Let's keep some surprises. I'm just happy to figure out a bit more what I need, what I'm looking for, what I love .
When I'll end up typing this post, I'll sit at my desk, take a piece of paper and start listing what I like. Before, I could only write stupid wish I would regret to have written two days after. Today I'm sure, at least of 2 things I want to write :
_ I need vitamin.
_ I'm looking for a life in China.
There is no moment on earth during which I can be different : there's always a part of the world where what I'm doing is normal... that's somehow desperating.
Still, my dreams are mine. And I still can be original. I remember I read somewhere this answer of a wife to her husband, worried to fail his projects : "look honey, if a man's dream is to sleep a little bit longer on sunday morning, take twice of the apple pie dessert, and trust those he loves, then nobody, as powerful as he might be, can deprive him from fulfilling his dream". I already knew what I don't want, what I reject, what I hate. Since I'm living awake and sleeping badly, I think I'm starting to know a little bit more what I need, what I want.
Sometime it's when we create a loss, an emptyness, a lack of something, that all we wish appears in full light.
As I become aware of how tired I am, other lacks come to my mind.
Still, I don't want to rush : I don't want to know everything of my desires right now. Let's keep some surprises. I'm just happy to figure out a bit more what I need, what I'm looking for, what I love .
When I'll end up typing this post, I'll sit at my desk, take a piece of paper and start listing what I like. Before, I could only write stupid wish I would regret to have written two days after. Today I'm sure, at least of 2 things I want to write :
_ I need vitamin.
_ I'm looking for a life in China.
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